Sep 27, 2021 | Grit
This year feels like one very long season on a TV show that keeps adding suspense to each series. What I mean by this is, you think you have a handle of what is going on and think you might make it through but then a curve ball gets thrown in and it becomes chaotic again. This keeps you in suspense of what next will happen.At the beginning you felt like you wanted to roll up your sleeves and help in any way you could – when we closed our doors to visitors my heart broke for our patients. We wanted to do everything we could to help them through their stay with us and be connected to their families and not feel a loss. We arranged singing days to brighten them up, as well as a Patient Giving Cart that went around to be able to accommodate the patients asks and needs. We helped with connecting the patients with their families whether it be on the phone, FaceTime or an outside visit in the courtyard. With volunteers not being able to come in, I fully stepped into the role with our two amazing Chaplains, Hilton and Emily, and we became family to our patients. In talking to our patients, you learned how fast you helped by being that support when they needed it. We also became closer to our staff and we found that we were the listening ear for them when they needed it. I also joined a great group of individuals through the Family Support Team and Patient care Team We supported our patients and got them items that they needed to help them through their stay with us. Along this journey I became a help for our Designated Care Partner orientation which made you feel great that we could implement a program to get a loved one in for our patients. In August I inherited the Screeners – which was a challenge in itself, but with time I came to understand the process and was able to support the staff. I also took on the process for Student Placements, which was a lot to handle, especially alongside the new Cerner program being implemented in November, but we managed through it all. I have to say that with all these areas I helped in, I have grown to know so many staff and made great connections with them deeper than what I had before. Despite wanting to help and be there for everyone, as time went on, , it became emotionally and physically draining. I started to feel that I was lost in my own world. I was torn between work and family and it has been a big struggle. My heart bleeds for our patients and our staff and that is why I felt I needed to be here to help them through; but this meant I sacrificed my time at home with my family. It was very difficult dealing with guilt as a mom and a wife. I also dealt with even feeling like an outcast with some of my family at work as I felt like I was away from them and lost touch. I am a people person and I always try to have a smile on my face and cover my true feelings but it was difficult with the year we were having. I tried my best to keep it together and push on and I am thankful for a few people that have been here for me who gave me the strength to keep coming in and do my work. I know we are all very blessed for our lives, that we are still working and that we have some positives that have come out of this all, but it’s trying to stay positive when I have been struggling lately. All I can say is that my faith and prayers have helped me through just knowing that God will guide me down the right path. The most that I have learned is that being there for patients and staff to listen to their fears and struggles, has been my comfort to knowing how I can help them through. This is what I was called to do during this horrible year of COVID-19. This is a prayer that I said every day to bring me back to a place where I did not feel that I was fighting to keep on going, that I would like to share: Father, please grant me peace of mind, and calm my troubled heart. My soul is so uneasy. I can't seem to find my balance, so I stumble and worry constantly. Give me the strength and clarity of mind to find my purpose and walk the path you've laid out for me. I trust Your Love, and know that you will heal this stress that I just can't seem to shake. Just as the sun rises each day against the dark of night, please bring me clarity with the light of the Holy Father, Amen. As we push through these times we just remind ourselves of our love for each other, the comfort that we bring each other and that if you feel like you're losing everything, remember that trees lose their leaves every year and they still stand tall and wait for better days to come. God Bless, Paulette