Sep 27, 2021 | Grit
On March 18, 2020, I was to attend a concert that I have always wanted to go to. Pearl Jam was to play in Toronto. My husband and I were so excited but this quickly changed as this was the week that shut the world. COVID-19 took over my thoughts. As Hôtel- Dieu Grace Healthcare began to make decisions on how to move forward, I began to feel guilty. As a Respiratory Therapist, I felt I should have been at the frontline battling this horrific respiratory disease with my friends and colleagues in acute care. As an RT, I was trained to step up to battle a pandemic firsthand but I couldn’t because my role as an operations manager did not allow for this. I struggled, felt ashamed and truly believed that I was doing my profession an injustice. One day walking onto the unit, my staff had posted a new saying on our bulletin board. It said “TOUGH TIMES DON’T LAST BUT TOUGH TEAMS DO”. This brought tears to my eyes and helped me realize that my role here at HDGH was just as important as my colleagues’ role in acute care. To this day I don’t believe they know how much that sign helped me get through each day. I had patients and staff that I needed to protect. I needed to ensure I did everything within my power to keep everyone safe. As a result of this realization, I set out on a journey to learn everything I could about COVID-19, how it spread and how we needed to protect ourselves. After work, I would go home and immerse myself in videos and articles, remember knowledge is power! In the beginning I worked 19 days in a row, sometimes 10-12 hours per day and when I finally had a day off I could not let the thought of COVD-19 go. I was scared for my family, I was scared for my friends, and I was scared for my staff and patients. On March 20, 2020, HDGH made the difficult decision to close its doors to all visitors. I must admit that this is probably one of the hardest days I have experienced as a manager. I spoke with each patient and their family to let them know that they would no longer be able to see their loved one. Many tears were shed that day as I cried alongside both patients and their families. I went home and hugged each one of my four kids and my husband as I could not imagine not being able to see them if they were in hospital.Months passed and although the workload on the unit was much different than in the past, we were doing a great job at keeping COVID out. A new Designated Care Partner program was developed in order to allow for individuals to come and participate in the care of their loved ones. Just as we were getting into a flow, Wave two hit. This is when I put forth my name to go into Long Term Care (LTC) to help, as I knew they were struggling. I received a call and presented to LTC on Monday, December 21st. Others from HDGH were also there to offer a helping hand. I was brought up to one of the units to find three others individuals from HDGH and some agency staff. No one from the actual LTC home was working that day and it was the first day on the unit for us all. It was a bit chaotic at first but we all banded together to ensure that all patients were cared for. It was a very emotional time, one day you were helping feed a resident, the next day they were refusing to eat and the next day you would hold their hand as they passed away. I am so thankful to have been able to provide companionship to those residents in their last moments. A total of 11 residents passed in the four days leading up to Christmas. I cried in my car every night on my way home from work.On January 6, 2021, I was asked to leave the LTC home and go to a Rest/Retirement home that was in dire need of help. The moment I arrived, I felt that I would not be able to protect my family from the risk of me bringing COVID home. I decided to move into a hotel and I stayed there for two weeks. Two HDGH colleagues also made the decision to stay at the hotel. I am thankful for this as we supported one another through the long days at work and the nights of being away from our families.Within the first ten minutes of arriving at the Rest/Retirement home I made the decision to send one of the residents to the emergency room via EMS. This was the first of many; we often saw three EMS rigs pull up to take one of the residents to acute care. At first, it was a daily occurrence. Many staff were also affected so we had to rely on our community partners for the nursing care for the residents. HDGH staff, Local Health Integration Network (LHIN) staff, and a few of the Rest/Retirement Home staff would complete twice daily assessments, complete med passes and provide emotional and mental health support to all of the residents. In late January, I was informed that my unit at HDGH was declared to be in outbreak. I immediately felt the need to go see my team in order to support their emotional needs as they were dealing with the news. I reached out to the management team and they comforted me as they ensured that all staff and patients on my unit were being looked after and the team was coping well with the news. I was extremely grateful to my fellow managers as I knew their workload had increased with me being offsite for so long. Again, I remembered that TOUGH TIMES DON’T LAST BUT TOUGH TEAMS DO!As the situation at the Rest/Retirement home started to improve, I was given the responsibility to oversee their vaccination program. This is the first time that I was able to interact with the residents as they smiled and celebrated hope; hope that their lives could return to normal, hope that COVID-19 would no longer be able to ravish through the home. On February 8, 2021, I returned to HDGH. Although, it felt great to be back, I do not regret making the decision to go to LTC. I feel that I was able to make a difference in so many people’s lives. If asked to volunteer again I would be the first to put my hand up. I would like to thank all those HDGH staff whose paths I crossed during this journey. We supported and encouraged one another each day as we focused on what we needed to accomplish as a team. We now have a common bond and I am truly blessed to have worked with all of you.