Blog

Jun 29, 2026 | Mental Health, Faces of HDGH

Finding Healing in Nature: Supporting Mental Health Through Therapeutic Nature-Inspired Programming

As a Recreation Therapist with the Toldo Neurobehavioural Institute (TNI) at Hôtel-Dieu Grace Healthcare (HDGH), I have the privilege of witnessing the powerful impact that nature can have on mental health and well-being. In a world that often moves at a fast pace, nature offers something many of us desperately need - a chance to slow down, reconnect, and simply be present in the moment.

Research continues to show that spending time outdoors can reduce stress, improve mood, decrease symptoms of anxiety and depression, and enhance overall emotional well-being.

This is why we intentionally incorporate nature into many of our therapeutic recreation offerings within TNI. Our programs provide opportunities for individuals to experience the restorative benefits of the outdoors while developing meaningful skills, building confidence, and fostering social connections. Nature engages our senses, encourages mindfulness, and provides a calming environment that supports healing and recovery.

The Healing Power of Outdoor Activities and Movement

Physical activities are regularly offered throughout the day, utilizing our outdoor spaces in order to combine the benefit of movement with the restorative effects of nature; encouraging participants to explore, engage with their environment, and experience the simple joy of being outside. These activities support physical health while also improving mood, reducing stress, and increasing feelings of connection.

A typical morning in TNI starts off with our Walk and Talk Group offering a simple yet powerful way to begin the day. Exposure to natural light helps boost energy levels while supporting emotional wellness. Our walks are offered outdoors in HDGH’s Healing Garden, providing a peaceful space where individuals can step away from daily stressors and immerse themselves in a calming natural environment. Surrounded by greenery, flowers, and fresh air, patients can relax, reflect, and find moments of peace. For many, the Healing Garden becomes a place of comfort, hope, and restoration. Participants often report feeling more focused, refreshed, and prepared to face the day after spending time in the Garden.

Mindfulness and Meditation in Nature

We offer many opportunities to practice mindfulness throughout the day. Offering this program outdoors allows nature to provide the perfect backdrop for mindfulness and meditation practices. The sounds of birds, the movement of leaves in the wind, and the warmth of the sun create opportunities to focus on the present moment. Through guided mindfulness and meditation experiences, patients learn strategies for managing stress, improving emotional regulation, and cultivating a greater sense of inner calm.

Growing Wellness Through Horticulture

One of the most rewarding programs we facilitate would be our horticulture program. There is something truly special about watching individuals connect with nature through the simple act of caring for it as it grows. We have seen patients struggling with stress, anxiety, and low mood light up when they notice the first signs of growth from something they have planted themselves. Horticulture provides opportunities to slow down, focus on the present moment, and experience a sense of purpose. It teaches patience, responsibility, and resilience while offering tangible reminders that growth takes time. Participants often share how peaceful they feel while working with plants, and many take pride in nurturing something living and watching their efforts flourish.

Horticulture is about much more than gardening. It creates opportunities for meaningful conversations, social connection, and moments of success that can be difficult to find during periods of mental health challenges. The garden becomes a space where people can feel capable, connected, and hopeful. Watching patients gain confidence and discover joy through caring for plants is one of the many reasons we are passionate about incorporating horticulture into therapeutic recreation programming in TNI.

At TNI, we recognize that healing happens in many ways. By integrating horticulture, outdoor recreation, Healing Garden experiences, morning walks, and mindfulness practices into our programming, we create opportunities for individuals to reconnect—with themselves, with others, and with the natural world around them.

We are proud to offer programs that harness the healing power of nature and help individuals discover the many benefits of stepping outside, taking a breath, and reconnecting with the world around them. Nature reminds us that growth takes time, healing is possible, and even after difficult seasons, new beginnings can emerge. Every day, we see firsthand how meaningful time spent outdoors can support recovery, resilience, and overall mental wellness.

About the Author

My career path began right out of high school, driven by a passion for helping others and making a positive difference in people's lives. I started my journey as a Developmental Services Worker, supporting individuals with physical and cognitive disabilities. This experience laid the foundation for a career dedicated to helping people achieve their goals, build meaningful connections, and live fulfilling lives.

My path eventually led me into long-term care, where I spent the majority of my career working with older adults. Throughout those years, I developed a deep appreciation for the impact recreation and leisure can have on overall well-being, quality of life, and a person's sense of purpose.

In 2020 while balancing work and family life, I returned to school to pursue my dream of becoming a Recreation Therapist. This achievement marked an important milestone in both my personal and professional journey, giving me the opportunity to transition into my role as a Recreation Therapist with HDGH, where I have the privilege of combining my passion for recreation therapy, mental health, and the healing power of nature. I am grateful to continue supporting individuals on their wellness journeys while helping create opportunities for growth, connection, and recovery.

Outside of work, I am a wife and proud mother of four who enjoys creative expression through painting, poetry, and decorating, although am happiest when surrounded by nature. These experiences bring me balance, joy, and a sense of connection that I carry into every aspect of my life.

Feb 5, 2026 | Mental Health, Faces of HDGH

Every February, Psychology Month shines a spotlight on the important role psychology plays in helping people live healthy, fulfilling lives. At Hôtel-Dieu Grace Healthcare (HDGH), this work is deeply woven into our mission of providing compassionate, person-centred care.

As part of this year’s Psychology Month, we sat down with Dr. Adetola Grillo, Clinical Psychologist at the Toldo Neurobehavioural Institute (TNI), who recently joined HDGH in July. In this Q&A, Dr. Grillo shares her journey, her approach to care, and why psychological support is essential to recovery.

Q: Can you tell us about your role as a psychologist at HDGH?

A: I began practicing in Canada in 2021. I am registered with the College of Psychologists and Behavioural Analysts of Ontario and went through a period of supervised practice. I worked in private practice and then moved to Windsor this past July to join HDGH.

My role as a psychologist has involved conducting psychological assessments and providing therapy. My primary approach is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and I also use Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT). I describe my practice as very person-centred and I have a lot of experience working with those who have experienced trauma.

At HDGH, I primarily work with adults and older adults who often have complex mental health needs, which requires a lot of patience, empathy, and flexibility. It’s important for me to see the whole person — not just their diagnosis. Many of our patients and clients are parents, grandparents, professionals, or caregivers. They have strengths, histories, and identities that matter.

I focus on building on those strengths while supporting their recovery. Working within a multidisciplinary team is also a huge part of what makes care at HDGH so effective. Our patients’ needs are medical, psychological, social, and physical, and it takes a team approach to truly support them.

Sometimes I connect with a patient’s family members to gather information for assessments or to help support therapy. Other times, I participate in family meetings as part of the multidisciplinary team.

Families are often an important part of a person’s support system, and collaborating with them helps ensure care is aligned and effective.

Q: What led you to pursue a career in psychology and drew you to working at HDGH?

A: I’ve always been interested in the health professions. My mother is a retired nurse, so I grew up around hospitals — it felt natural to me. I considered medicine, but I didn’t enjoy subjects like chemistry and physics, so I decided to become a different kind of doctor. In the end, it worked out perfectly because I find psychology fascinating. We are all curious about human behaviour. We try to understand why people act the way they do. Studying the science behind those behaviours really interested me, and I’ve truly enjoyed the journey so far.

When I interviewed at HDGH, I immediately noticed the culture and strong sense of teamwork. From my very first day, I met so many people who had been here for 10, 20, and even 30 years. That spoke volumes to me. Everyone was incredibly welcoming and made this new experience feel positive and supportive. It’s something that has stayed with me since day one.

My journey here has been both challenging and rewarding. I’ve grown professionally and personally since joining the organization, and I’m truly enjoying the journey.

Q: How does psychological therapy support recovery and overall health?

A: Psychological therapy is an essential part of recovery — not just in mental health hospitals, but everywhere. There’s a saying that “there’s no health without mental health,” and it’s true. Mental health affects how we think, solve problems, manage relationships, regulate emotions, and understand ourselves.

People usually come to therapy after trying to cope on their own and realizing they need support. One of the greatest benefits of therapy is developing self-awareness — understanding how you think, feel, and where you get stuck. We often operate on “autopilot.” Therapy creates space to slow down and reflect. It’s a safe, non-judgmental environment where people can explore their experiences and learn healthier ways of responding to challenges.

It’s also a corrective space. People can try new approaches, understand patterns that aren’t working, and build more effective coping skills.

Research shows that many therapeutic approaches, whether it’s CBT, DBT or other evidence-based interventions, are effective. What consistently stands out is the importance of the therapeutic relationship. Feeling safe, heard, and supported by a knowledgeable professional makes a real difference.

At HDGH, building strong, trusting relationships is central to our care. It reflects our commitment to dignity, respect, and compassion.

Q: What advice would you give to someone who is struggling but hesitant to reach out for help?

A: First, I would say: it makes sense. Many people hesitate because of stigma or self-judgment. They worry that asking for help means they are weak or failing. We are often our own harshest critics. But problems whether they arise from life stressors, developmental transitions, interpersonal relationships, or emotional, personality or cognitive dysfunction are part of being human.

It’s okay to talk to friends and family, and that can be very helpful. But if you’ve tried that and you’re still struggling, seeking professional support is important — just like seeing a doctor for physical concerns. Mental health isn’t just about willpower. It involves our brain, our physiology, our thoughts, and our emotions. Sometimes we need expert support to understand and manage those processes. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength and self-awareness, not weakness.

Celebrating Psychology Month at HDGH

During Psychology Month, we recognize the vital role psychologists and mental health professionals play in supporting recovery, resilience, and well-being. Dr. Grillo’s work reflects HDGH’s commitment to provide compassionate, holistic, and person-centered care that honours each person’s dignity and potential. Thank you to all of our psychologists for the meaningful difference they make in the lives of our patients, clients, families, and community.

Dec 12, 2025 | Mental Health, Leadership, Community and Partnerships, Faces of HDGH, Road to Recovery – Restorative Rehabilitative Care

As 2025 comes to a close, we find ourselves taking a moment to pause and appreciate just how much has happened at Hôtel-Dieu Grace Healthcare this year. From expanding urgent mental health and addictions services to opening new spaces for healing, this year was defined by meaningful progress, powerful partnerships, and moments of impact that will carry us into 2026 with renewed purpose. While there are many achievements to capture in a single reflection, here are just a few of the highlights that shaped our year and strengthened our mission.

Expanding Mental Health and Addictions Urgent Care Clinic (MHAUCC) to 24/7 Care

A major achievement this year was transitioning the Mental Health and Addictions Urgent Care Clinic (MHAUCC) to be open and available for people to walk-in for service 24/7. This expansion ensures individuals, experiencing mental health or substance use challenges can access immediate, compassionate support at any time of day or night. In addition to this expansion, the MHAUCC welcomes policing and EMS partners to transition voluntary individuals in crisis to subject matter experts, freeing up time to respond to priority incidents and reducing emergency department wait times.

Transforming Mental Health Care for Children

A groundbreaking milestone in 2025 was the introduction of Assertive Community Treatment Team for Children (ACT-C), the first of its kind in Canada. Modeled after the ACT Team for adults, ACT-C is a community-based, recovery-focused model designed to meet the complex needs of children ages 6–12 struggling with severe mental health challenges.

Using a transdisciplinary, family-centred approach, the team collaborates with community partners like the Windsor-Essex Children's Aid Society (WECAS) to provide children and their families with a well-rounded network of support. Designed for flexibility, the ACT-C approach removes barriers and meets families where they are—at home and in the community.

This bold new model is transforming how early mental health care is delivered. In its first year, ACT-C has already begun making a meaningful difference for families in Windsor-Essex.

Opening the HDGH Bob Probert Tecumseh Campus and Toldo Outpatient Rehabilitation Centre

One of the most exciting milestones of 2025 was the opening of the HDGH Bob Probert Tecumseh Campus and the Toldo Outpatient Rehabilitation Centre.

The Bob Probert Tecumseh Campus was designed specifically to support residents of Tecumseh, Lakeshore, and rural Essex County who previously faced transportation barriers and struggled to access outpatient care. This campus helps change that. Now, individuals can receive outpatient rehabilitation, cardiac wellness support, and geriatric services much closer to where they live.

The new Toldo Outpatient Rehabilitation Centre feels different from the previous outpatient rehab space from the moment you enter. Surrounded by natural light, the environment feels warm and modern, and every detail has been thoughtfully designed to support the patient’s rehabilitation journey. Most importantly, it brings together a team of compassionate professionals who help patients rebuild strength, confidence, and independence, one step at a time.

Together, these two new centres reflect our commitment to equity, accessibility, and compassionate care.

Crisis Response Team Receives Continued Support Through Grant

This year, the Windsor Police Service and Hôtel-Dieu Grace Healthcare (HDGH) through their collaborative Crisis Response Team (CRT) received a grant from the Ontario Government’s Community Safety and Policing Grant program, ensuring that this critical service will remain operational.

The CRT pairs crisis intervention-trained (CIT) police officers with CIT-trained social workers from HDGH and responds to dispatched calls to individuals presenting with symptoms of mental illness, substance use, behavioural disorders, or people in acute crises. This funding reflects confidence in CRT’s impact and how they de-escalate crisis situations, provide immediate mental health supports, and connect individuals with appropriate ongoing services or community supports.

Sharing Our Story Through the More than Medicine Film

A proud highlight of 2025 was the premiere of HDGH’s impact film, More than Medicine —a powerful project created to share real stories of recovery, resilience, and the human impact of the care delivered within our walls.

The film brought together patients, clients, families, and staff to capture what happens when healthcare extends beyond treatment plans and into connection, dignity, and hope. Hearing their voices was deeply powerful and a reminder of why we do this work.

Launching the HART Hub

Co-led by HDGH, the House of Sophrosyne, and Windsor Essex Community Health Centre (weCHC), the Windsor-Essex Homeless and Addiction Recovery Treatment (HART) Hub is a testament to what we can accomplish when people come together with a shared purpose. It is a collaborative initiative that provides low-barrier, integrated care for individuals aged 16 and older who are experiencing homelessness and are seeking support for their addiction and mental health concerns, while addressing their housing needs. It’s a place built on dignity, compassion, and belief in recovery.

Celebrating Partnerships and Looking Ahead

These moments represent only a handful of the many accomplishments, partnerships, and acts of compassion that defined 2025 at HDGH. If there’s one theme that carried through everything we achieved this year, it’s partnership.

About Bill Marra

Bill Marra is the President and CEO at HDGH and brings his 36 years of honourable leadership experience in health, public affairs, and community service to the HDGH executive team. Since joining HDGH in 2011, Bill has been steadfast in his goal to make HDGH the safest hospital in Ontario. He created an in-house security team to ensure the safety of patients and healthcare workers. Bill took on the role of President and CEO in January 2022 and in just one year, he led a person-centered model of care change in the Complex Medical Care and Palliative Units, introduced Personal Support Workers to the healthcare unit, established a HDGH Wellness Committee, and formed an EDII Alliance.

Nov 17, 2025 | Mental Health, Patient Stories

Each November, National Addictions Awareness Week (NAAW) invites Canadians to come together to reduce stigma and promote understanding around substance use, recovery, and mental health. This year’s theme, “Inspiring Change Together,” reminds us that every story of recovery helps shift perceptions and encourage compassion.

At Hôtel-Dieu Grace Healthcare (HDGH), we are proud to share one such story from Robert Roberts, one of the clients featured in our organization’s impact film, More Than Medicine. Robert continues to demonstrate courage, honesty, and hope in his recovery journey — reminding us that healing often begins with the willingness to grow through discomfort and connect with others.

Guest Blog by Robert Roberts 

One of the first things I was taught in recovery was to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. This really was at the core of my disease. I was always uncomfortable in my own skin and would do anything to numb that feeling. I had to learn how to work through my own discomfort without running away from it with something external. I had to find my comfort, to learn how to be content with myself and my life from within.

That brings me to Hôtel-Dieu Grace Healthcare’s 'More Than Medicine' film and with it, this wonderfully uncomfortable journey the team has given me the opportunity grow and be a part of. Just over a year into my sobriety, I was pleasantly greeted one morning to an unexpected message. Dan, my counselor from withdrawal management, said the hospital had this idea to do some small social media posts to bring awareness to programs they had. I jumped at the opportunity; another thing I was taught in recovery was that you don’t get to keep this unless you give it away. This was my first real chance to give back, show my gratitude to the people who so freely gave this gift to me, and with any luck inspire someone to step out of the fear and shame of addiction and take that helping hand.

Just before Christmas I had a chance to meet the director of communications, Nicole. She explained what they were trying to do and I told her about my journey. This was the first time I shared this with someone who wasn’t directly part of my Healthcare team or someone who was dealing with the same struggles as me. This was my first opportunity to get uncomfortable. I survived, this wasn’t so bad, I might even be excited to do this.

From there things were quiet about this project and my old negative thoughts of self-doubt had crept in. I figured the meeting hadn’t gone as well as I had imagined. Then I got the email: “We have an exciting idea we would like to discuss, no more social media posts, let’s make a documentary!”

Things just got a lot more uncomfortable, but I didn’t think long about it, I knew this was this was the right thing I needed to do. At this point, my addiction and recovery was kept quiet. Unless you were a part of my immediate family or a member of one of my groups, I did not show this vulnerable side of me. I was still full of shame; it was still my dark secret.

I realized it was time to start speaking openly about my recovery- I couldn’t keep hiding. I didn’t like the idea of people I knew finding out because they watched this documentary or heard, “Hey, did you know this about Robert?” So it was time to get really uncomfortable.

I went to work and told my boss, and a few select colleagues I was close to that I was an alcoholic in recovery, and that I was going to be a part of this project. Surprise, surprise- I was met with nothing but compassion and understanding, not the horrible judgement I had imagined.

Shortly after this the team at Media Street began filming my interview. Part of this included asking if my daughter, Ruby, could be involved in some footage to tell the story of life in recovery. Ruby was a big motivation in my journey, and this gave me the opportunity to have some very hard, but very important conversations with her. I didn’t want her to be like me, ashamed of mental health struggles, or afraid to ask for help when she needed it.

As we neared the end of this uncomfortable adventure it was time to screen my part, audio only, so I could give my approval to use it. Nicole and her team had one last uncomfortable surprise left to truly push me out of my comfort zone for good: the documentary would premiere at WIFF (Windsor International Film Festival), on a big screen. And why not invite just about everyone you know and love, to see it. Actually, that last part was my idea, I was finally starting to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

I am so grateful to have been a part of this project and to share the screen with four other families who courageously shared their stories of strength and hope with all of us. I still struggle with those old negative thoughts; just because I put down the bottle doesn’t mean my disease went away. But with the help of HDGH and their ongoing encouragement to keep growing, I can say I’m proud of myself and I’m grateful for everything in my life- including my struggles, because without them I wouldn’t be on this journey to become happy, joyous and free.

Oh yeah, Nicole had one more opportunity for me to get comfortable being uncomfortable. “Think you could write a blog for us?” So here I am, sharing my story- not because it’s easy, but because every time I do I grow a little stronger.

More Than Medicine: Specialized Care, Close to Home

At HDGH, we believe that every recovery story — like Robert’s — reminds us that healing is a shared journey. As we mark National Addictions Awareness Week, we honour the courage of those who step forward, speak openly, and help inspire others to seek help and find hope.

Robert’s journey is one of the stories featured in More Than Medicine, a film that captures the deeply personal stories of five patients, clients and families whose lives were forever changed by the HDGH’s specialized services. Watch the full film now on YouTube.

Apr 16, 2025 | Mental Health, Faces of HDGH

Working in children’s mental health, I’ve seen firsthand how urgently families need care that’s responsive, accessible, and compassionate. That’s why I’m incredibly proud to share what our team at Hôtel-Dieu Grace Healthcare’s Regional Children’s Centre (RCC) has been building. It’s called the Assertive Community Treatment Team for Children (ACT-C) — the first program of its kind in Canada — and it’s transforming how we deliver mental health care to children as young as six by meeting them where they are: in their homes and communities. This bold new approach is already making a meaningful difference, right here in Windsor-Essex.

A First in Canada: Community-Based, Child-Focused Mental Health Care

Modeled after the Assertive Community Treatment (ACT) Teams used to support adults, ACT-C is specifically tailored to the needs of children, along with their families to meet the complex needs of young people struggling with severe mental health challenges — right where they live.

The team collaborates with community partners like the Windsor-Essex Children’s Aid Society (WECAS) to provide families with a well-rounded network of support. Designed for flexibility, the ACT-C approach meets families where they are—at home and in the community—while reducing the need for emergency services such as hospitals, police, or crisis units. Despite being community-based, the program offers similar level of intensive care as live-in or Day treatment settings, including individual and family counselling, in-home behaviour management coaching, recreational programming, and skill-building activities.

What Makes ACT-C Different?

Here are just a few of the ways ACT-C is making a positive impact:

• Enhanced Support: Serving children and families in Windsor-Essex, particularly, the most complex clients who are in most need of intensive mental health treatment.
• Family-Centered Care: Involving parents and guardians as essential partners in the treatment process, with the team meeting with families multiple times per week based on their needs.
• Effective Transition: Helping families move to less intensive or intrusive services as treatment goals are met.
• Crisis Prevention: Reducing repeat use of crisis or emergency services and minimizing wait times for existing intensive treatment options in Windsor-Essex County.

Real Results, Real Impact

Since launching, ACT-C has supported 62 families. Early results show improved outcomes for children and families participating in the program, as well as agency-wide benefits, including shorter waitlists for other intensive services like day treatment and better access to counseling and therapy.

Voices from the Community

The most powerful evidence? The families we serve. Krystle and Adam, parents of two children in the program, shared their experience:

“The Assertive Community Treatment Team for Children has impacted our family in a wonderfully, positive way. Jen has been very thorough with the education she has given to us, and has given us a great follow through plan. It has been very helpful to our family that Jen has come into our home to be hands on teaching us and the children to build a morning routine through modeling and visual charts. She has also given us resources to the community partners so Adam and I can continue positively in our journey. The collaboration between the team and our family has been great and very professional. Since participating in the program, the boys have been better behaved, not as destructive. They are willing to participate in things we are asking them, they have a sense of purpose again.”

Looking Ahead

ACT-C is paving the way for improving how we support children’s mental health care that could inspire systems across the country — and beyond. I’m honoured to have been invited to speak about our work at an upcoming European conference in Denmark, where we’ll showcase ACT-C and the work our team and community partners are doing to transform children’s mental health.

Together, we’re not just treating mental illness — we’re transforming how and where we deliver care for children and families. And this is only the beginning.

About the Author

DJ MacNeil, director, Regional Children’s Centre, has a wealth of experience from his extensive career in mental health services. With a background that spans outpatient, inpatient, community, correctional and emergency department settings, DJ has dedicated his professional life to improving mental health care for children and families. 

DJ holds a master's degree in Quality Improvement and Patient Safety, reflecting his deep interest in these areas. He enjoys learning and working on initiatives related to quality and health system improvement. DJ also volunteers on the Quality, Utilization & Risk board for the WECHC.

Outside of his professional life, DJ spends a lot of time with his wife and three kids. He is a true philomath and voracious reader, always eager to expand his knowledge and understanding.

Mar 12, 2025 | Mental Health

Fulfilling relationships and connections are essential for living happy, fulfilling lives. However, we often don’t critically examine whether what we were taught about relationships serves us. Life doesn’t come with a guidebook to tell us how to do these things. I will discuss where relationships can go wrong: codependency.

Healthy relationships are interdependent; both people support each other while maintaining their independence, boundaries, and personal identities. They take responsibility for their emotions/behaviour and have goals/fulfillment outside of the relationship. They remain connected by choice, not out of obligation, fear, guilt, or dependency. Caring for others is not problematic—persistent self-sacrifice is. Consider if any of your specific relationships are dysfunctional instead of labelling yourself “codependent.” The presence of codependency doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, but this doesn’t mean you can’t want better for yourself. Our care for others can coexist with our care for ourselves.

“Codependency” isn’t a clinical diagnosis but is, rather, a broad term used to describe a coping mechanism involving unhealthy attachment; at the cost of personal well-being, codependent people receive security, validation, identity, and purpose from others. Some view codependency as a “relationship addiction,” and I believe some people have even argued (unsuccessfully) for its inclusion in the DSM as a personality disorder in the past. Codependency often involves weak boundaries, low self-worth, fear, and emotional suppression/dysregulation; this leads to things like stress, anxiety/depression, and unbalanced, less satisfying, or abusive relationships. Codependency can affect romantic, platonic, familial, professional, and community relationships. It can be especially damaging for those in “helping” professions or those around people struggling with significant addiction/mental health.

Contributors to Codependency

Codependent behaviour is often a reflection of the behaviour learned as a means to survive or navigate a dysfunctional environment. Codependent behaviour in adulthood can also be the unconscious attempt to fill a void that was created in childhood. Often without realizing it, we often model in adulthood some or many relationship patterns we observed in our caregivers (e.g., parents repeatedly sacrificing their own needs to keep the family together/stable, parents being absent due to investing themselves in their work completely to provide for the family, etc.). While significant experiences in adulthood can certainly contribute to codependency, it often starts developing at an early age because of the lessons we consciously and unconsciously learned. There are many reasons why codependency can develop, but I will outline a few common contributors below.

Early Life Experiences

Codependency often stems from childhood environments where emotional needs were unmet, where dysfunction was normalized, and where mental illness or addiction was present. Self-expression, boundaries, and emotions were dismissed, invalidated, or punished; this can lead to the belief that love is conditional on caregiving or peacekeeping. Children in dysfunctional families may suppress their needs to maintain stability, resulting in an identity based on serving others. They may take on caregiving roles for parents or siblings, whether through physical tasks like cooking and cleaning or through emotional tasks like making decisions for them or quelling their anger. The cycle of dysfunctional behaviour from caregivers reinforces their codependency, making them overextend to avoid conflict, rejection, or abandonment. These patterns are often passed down through generations. Without intervention, these patterns continue into adulthood and are unconsciously repeated in relationships, parenting styles, and social interactions.

Cultural and Societal Influences

Cultural and societal belief systems can reinforce values like self-sacrifice, duty, and putting others first. Some messages and lessons passed on might resemble the following:

• “That’s just what we do.”
• “Good parents always put their children’s needs before their own.”
• “Your job is your worth.”
• “You owe your parents for everything they’ve done for you.”
• “Quitting is for the weak.”
• “Crying is for babies.”
• “We know what’s best for you.”
• “Don’t bring shame to our family.”

These types of messages teach us that our personal needs and feelings are invalid or, at best, secondary. Regardless of whether these types of messages were explicitly communicated or implied, we internalize them and, unless we critically examine them, believe them to be objectively correct.

Identity Struggles

Our identities can become rooted in our relationships when we are denied exploration of our own wants, needs, and values. Being denied this exploration can make it difficult to distinguish personal desires and responsibilities from the desires and responsibilities of others. Continuous reinforcement of external success from family can exacerbate this issue. Praise and acknowledgement for choices or accomplishments caregivers deem valuable followed up with pressure to achieve more can instill the belief that love and approval are tied to external success and service to others. This can cause people uncertainty about what they truly want or need, and they often struggle to give themselves permission to feel their own emotions.

How Codependency Affects Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviours

The conditioning I discussed in the previous section often results in certain schemas being developed. Schemas are like mental blueprints/filters that help your brain efficiently make sense of the world. They are composed of past experiences, beliefs, and assumptions that influence how you see things, react to situations, and make decisions. I like to imagine a schema as a pair of tinted glasses, with the entirety of what we have learned determining the colour of the lenses. While glasses help us see more efficiently, we will always see everything in a certain colour unless the tint changes.

We all care about others and what people think of us a little bit—there is nothing wrong with that. However, for people who struggle with codependency, the behaviours of others that challenge their established schemas can feel like threats/attacks against them, as denying them external validation is robbing them of their primary coping mechanism. I will provide examples here of codependent schemas influencing thoughts, feelings, and behaviour.

My self-worth depends on making others happy

Thoughts

• "I need others to be happy.”
• "If I stop helping/caretaking, no one will love me."
• “I always need to be ‘in the know’ and aware of ‘what’s going on’ with others.”

Feelings

Behaviours

• Prioritizing others’ needs
• Constantly trying to fix/rescue others
• Struggling with boundaries
• Becoming defensive/anxious when behaviour is challenged
• Attempting to control situations to regain security
• Rationalizing why others’ unacceptable behaviour is acceptable
• Compulsive phone checking
• Keeping needs secret

My value comes from my work, productivity, and success

Thoughts

Feelings

Behaviours

Many parents struggle with the idea of not being able to “provide” for their children because their children have grown into adults. In codependency, the caretaking that was once developmentally appropriate—cooking meals, cleaning rooms, covering costs/rent, etc.—is still present. The move towards independence by the children jeopardizes the very identity of the parents, thus rendering the parents without purpose. To continue feeling needed, parents might sabotage their independence. However, the set of criteria for fulfilling one’s role does not need to be so rigid. Being a “good mother/father” for a child vs. an adult is supposed to look different. A change in behaviour does not necessitate a change in identity.

I describe codependency—which might differ from how others describe it—as attachment to the external. The concept of codependency can be applied to external things we see as extensions of us that we rely on to connect with others (e.g., familial roles, jobs, beliefs about “success,” money, material possessions, etc.). If your codependent schema ties your self-worth and confidence to your appearance, not only do you have to like the way you look on any given day for you to feel valuable and confident, others must also agree (i.e., provide external validation). What happens when you aren’t your desired weight, wearing the clothes you want, able to get a haircut, wearing makeup, looking how you used to, receiving compliments when others are, and so on? Your self-worth and confidence disappear as soon as the external “thing” you attached them to does.

Enabling

While codependent behaviour does not cause the behaviour of others, shielding others from the natural consequences of their actions enables self-destructive, dysfunctional, irresponsible, and incongruent behaviour. The brain’s stress response is activated when it perceives a threat. When consequences that would otherwise drive change (e.g., financial loss, relationship losses, health Issues, legal consequences, etc.) are blunted or removed by codependent behaviour—called “negative reinforcement” in psychology or “bailouts” in recovery circles—the brain does not register a threat in its entirety, keeping them trapped in a cycle. This pattern can foster an “external locus of control,” where people believe their life outcomes are dictated by external forces rather than personal choices. Over time, this can contribute to “learned helplessness” and chronic stress. The dopaminergic system governs things like satisfaction, pleasure, reward, motivation, and reinforcement. Excess cortisol from chronic stress can deplete dopamine, driving people toward maladaptive behaviours or substances (e.g., drugs, alcohol, gambling, eating, shopping, video games, social media, etc.) to both restore balance and cope with stress, pain, suffering, shame, hopelessness, etc. With addiction, this tendency is not due to a lack of morals, self-control, or willpower. People with addictions or codependency are not inherently different or broken; their coping mechanisms are simply not serving them constructively. However, if you become the primary coping mechanism for others, it is more difficult for them to develop independent stress management skills, healthy coping mechanisms, and internal motivation for change.

Recommendations for Recovering from Codependency

Developing self-awareness by recognizing codependent tendencies is the necessary first step to recovering from codependency. To help with this, reflect on whether your own wellbeing, needs, wants, ability to communicate openly, ability to cope effectively, etc. come secondary to your relationship with something external (other people, work, material possessions, money, expectations, etc.). I will provide some more recommendations (in no particular order) below.

Prioritization of Needs

• Shift energy back to yourself—this is not selfish, and it helps with recharging, progressing towards goals, and showing up in relationships healthier
• Practice self-care
• Do activities that bring you joy
• Journal positive affirmations daily
• Develop stress management that isn’t reliant on others

Communication/Boundaries

• Communicate needs/wants clearly (even if it feels strange or awkward)
• Learn to say “no” (without guilt, eventually)
• Set boundaries on what is/isn’t okay and what is/isn’t your responsibility

Negative Thought Patterns

• Identify when you are not living in the present—I call this “living in the world of potential” where an infinite number of “what if” questions or hypothetical scenarios exist
• Challenge and reframe codependent thoughts
• Ask yourself if you actually have evidence of something you believe or if, conversely, making assumptions is necessary for you to be able to believe something
• Practice positive self-talk
• Direct your thoughts and actions towards things you actually have control over
• Remind yourself that others only ever experience your behaviour—your thoughts, feelings, intentions, or suffering have no effect on others

Helping vs. Enabling

• Avoid sacrificing your own needs
• Encourage independence, not dependency
• Allow people to face the consequences of their actions
• Provide resources—help them help themselves

Support and Professional Help

• Attend support groups like Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) if needed
• Ask others to help keep you accountable for shifting codependent patterns
• Seek professional help and therapy to address deeper issues (anxiety, self-esteem, past trauma, identity, etc.)

About the Author

Sean Bays has been with Hôtel-Dieu Grace Healthcare since 2014, working in security for 4.5 years before transitioning to the role of Responsive Behaviour Navigator (RBN) for another 4.5 years. Currently, Sean is on a full-time contract as a Problem Gambling Counsellor, while his permanent role remains the RBN. He is an instructor at St. Clair College on the side and has also previously been consulted for post-secondary program evaluation.

Sean holds an Honours Bachelor of Arts (double major in Psychology and Philosophy) from the University of Windsor and a Master of Education (concentration in Teaching and Learning) from the University of Ottawa. Throughout his career, he has been actively involved in psychoeducation for clinical staff and has continuously worked on program development and process improvements. Sean also holds a Canadian Problem Gambling Counsellor (CPGC) certification and is registered with the Canadian Addiction Counsellors Certification Federation.

In his (limited) spare time, Sean enjoys staying active, writing, and spending quality time with his family, friends, and dog. He has co-written a TV show and is currently in the process of pitching it. 

Feb 20, 2025 | Mental Health, Faces of HDGH

February is Psychology Month in Canada and Hôtel-Dieu Grace Healthcare (HDGH) wants to showcase the psychologists that work here and the role that they play in a patient’s healthcare journey. Clinical psychologists are mental health clinicians with doctoral degrees who are registered with the College of Psychologists and Behavioural Analysts of Ontario. At HDGH, psychology plays a part in a number of the adult services, as well as in the children's services at the Regional Children’s Centre.

In the Toldo Neurobehavioural Institute, which is our inpatient specialized mental healthcare facility, the clinical psychologist, currently Dr. Bethany King, provides therapy and assessment services and has the support of a part time psychometrist. The psychologist is a key member of the multi-disciplinary team, which is made up of psychiatry, nursing, social work, occupational therapy, certified rehab assistants, recreational therapy and consults on developing treatment plans for the 49 patients in this program.

HDGH also has a neuropsychologist providing services in the inpatient rehabilitation and outpatient Acquired Brain Injury programs. The neuropsychologist provides assessments (also supported by a part time psychometrist) to evaluate cognitive functioning and therapy services, as well as consults with the multi-disciplinary team. Dr. Anne McLachlan recently retired from this position after 30 years.

At the Regional Children’s Centre (RCC), three psychologists offer psychological assessment and consultation services to a variety of programs. Current RCC psychologists include Dr. Amanda Darroch, Dr. Jenna Jones, and Dr. Lauren Wysman. RCC psychologists offer psychological assessments to clients aged 6 to 12 years receiving outpatient mental health counselling and/or those enrolled in the Intensive Treatment Services (ITS) Day Treatment program to determine their cognitive, academic, behavioural, and socio-emotional functioning. They also run an Autism screening clinic and subsequent Autism diagnostic assessments for children and adolescents aged 6 to 17 years in the community; this is the only publicly-funded autism assessment program in Windsor-Essex for this age group. To complete this work, psychologists are supported by one full-time and one part-time psychometrist, who assist with Autism screenings and diagnostic assessments. In addition, RCC psychologists offer consultation services to social workers regarding treatment of complex cases and report reviews for those clients who have an existing assessment.

HDGH psychologists also offer supervision to doctoral students, primarily from the University of Windsor's clinical psychology graduate program, through practicum placements and are very proud to support the training of future clinical psychologists

Jan 20, 2025 | Mental Health

You might have heard people talking about "Blue Monday." This is supposedly the most depressing day of the year, falling on the third Monday of January. It is claimed that this is when we're hit with the perfect storm: the holiday cheer has faded, our New Year's resolutions might be slipping, the weather is gloomy, the days are short, and well, it’s a Monday.

But here's the thing - this concept started as a marketing campaign for a travel company back in 2004. The date wasn’t actually based on any real scientific research. While Blue Monday might not be scientifically proven, it does shine a light on something that is supported by research: winter can be tough on our mental health – especially in Canada.

Instead of getting caught up in the Blue Monday hype, let's focus on taking care of ourselves all year round. Here are some simple ways to boost your mood, especially during the winter months:

Get outside, even for just 15 minutes. Yes, it's cold, but natural light and physical movement can really help lift your spirits. Bundle up and take a quick walk on your lunch break.

Start a feel-good routine through habit stacking. This means attaching a small new habit to something you already do daily. For example, while your morning coffee is brewing, you could do some quick stretches. While waiting for your computer to start up at work, spend a minute organizing your workspace and setting your top three priorities for the day. When you link these tiny positive actions to existing habits, they're more likely to stick. Plus, each small win gives you a sense of accomplishment and gradually builds meaningful improvements in your routine.

Connect with others. Send that text you've been putting off or grab coffee with coworkers. Sometimes social connection, even just a quick chat, can make a big difference.

Remember, if you're struggling with more than just the winter blues, you don't have to handle it alone. If you find yourself facing a mental health crisis, you can reach out to our 24/7 crisis line at 519-973-4435 or attend the Mental Health and Addictions Urgent Crisis Centre in person at 1030 Ouellette Avenue (adjacent to the Goyeau street entrance of Windsor Regional Ouellette Emergency Department) from 8am – 8pm every day of the year.

About the Author

Christopher Sterling-Murphy has worked with Hotel Dieu Grace Healthcare since 2021, first working on the Counselling and Therapy team at the Regional Children’s Centre, and currently working as a part-time Crisis Worker at the Community Crisis Centre. Christopher has previously served on the Equity, Diversity, Inclusion and Indigeneity Committee, the RCC Working Wellness Committee, and HDGH’s Wellness Committee.

Christopher is currently working towards a PhD in Social Work at the University of Windsor with a research focus on partnerships between law enforcement and social work, specifically crisis response teams. Christopher is also employed at the University of Windsor and the University of Toronto, assisting with research focusing on people living with HIV.

Aug 12, 2024 | Mental Health, Faces of HDGH

Summer is a time of fun and freedom for children, but it also poses a challenge for parents who are looking to keep their kids entertained in meaningful ways. It’s important for children to have the freedom to choose how they spend some of their time through the summer months. It is equally important to include structured activities to ensure children are engaging in various enriching and interactive activities. Working in children’s mental health, I have collaborated with many parents to develop ways to engage children in activities that foster creativity, learning, physical activity and social skills. Here are some of those tips!

Embrace Creativity with the Arts

Encouraging children to express themselves creatively can work to boost their mental health, confidence, and feelings of empowerment. This can include crafts, and also dance, drama, and music! Setting up an art station at home with various supplies can provide endless opportunities for creative expression. Consider these ideas:

• Nature Collages: Collect items form the outdoors like leaves, flowers and twigs, and let your child create beautiful collages. This activity will spark creativity, and also gets them outdoors and connect them with the beauty of nature.
• Rock Painting: Find smooth rocks and let your children paint them! Not only is this fun for kids, but also provides parents an opportunity to praise children’s efforts and put their work on display in the garden.
• Handmade Greeting Cards: Encourage your children to create greeting cards for friends and family members. This can be a fun and creative way for your children to express their emotions, express gratitude, and even foster empathy.
• Dance Parties: Some of my best childhood memories stem from dancing outside with my parents and sisters. Put on your kids’ favourite artists, get vulnerable, and show off your moves all around the house or backyard!

Foster Learning with Educational Activities

While it is important that your child have a break from education, keeping their minds active with educational activities can be fun and exciting! Any time your child is trying something new, mastering a new skill, reading, writing, or being exposed to something for the first time, they are learning! Here’s a few ideas:

• Science Experiments: Simple experiments like creating a baking soda and vinegar volcano, or creating a rainbow! There are many science experiments online for you and your child to research and choose from.
• Read with Your Child: Find age appropriate books and read to your child, or if your child is able, have them read to you! This can be a great way to help your child practice their literacy skills, and is also a great quality time activity for parents and their children.
• Nature Journaling: Give your child a journal and encourage them to draw and write about the plants, insects, and animals they observe.
• Cooking and Baking: Get your children into the kitchen and have them help create something tasty. Cooking and baking teach math, science, and following directions, while providing a sense of accomplishment and a (hopefully) delicious result!

Keep your Child Moving

Physical activity is essential for children’s mental and physical health. Anytime your child is outdoors, they will expend more energy than when inside. Get your kids outside and get them moving! Here are some fun ways to keep your kids active:

• Day Trips: Visit any park, greenspace or trail for a day of bike riding, hiking, or just running around!
• Outdoor Games: Classic games like tag, hide-and-seek, corn hole, or capture the flag are a great way to get active, and also teach children about healthy competition.
• Water Play: Summers in Southwestern Ontario can be hot! Cool down and get active by setting up a sprinkler or kiddie pool in the back yard. Visiting a splash pad is another great way for your kids to meet other children, while cooling off and keeping active.
• Obstacle Courses and Scavenger Hunts: Enhance your child’s problem-solving and observation skills by setting up either an obstacle course or scavenger hunt using household items.

Stay Connected through Group Activities

Social interactions are crucial for developing important life skills like cooperation, communication, social skills, and empathy. Here are a few ideas:

• Play Dates: Maintain your child’s friendships from school through the summer by arranging plenty of play dates. Not only will this strengthen your child’s friendships, but it can also reduce anxiety come September when it is time to return to school.
• Volunteer Work: Participating in community service activities, such as park clean ups or helping at a food bank can be a great way to connect with your children while instilling a sense of social responsibility and empathy in your children.
• Attend Local Festivals: Windsor-Essex hosts many festivals through the summer months which can provide a day of fun and connection to community for you and your family to enjoy! While some cost money, many are free to attend and participate in!
• Family Picnic: The idea of eating lunch or dinner on a blanket at the park or beach can be very new and exciting for children. Including them in the picnic preparations will further excite them. You can couple a family picnic with any number of games and activities to create a fun day out for children.

As a parent, you play a vital role in ensuring your child’s summer is both fun and enriching. By incorporating activities that promote creativity, learning, exercise, and connection, you can help your child enjoy a healthy and balanced summer. Any time you get your child outdoors, moving their bodies, trying or learning something new, or spending time with others, you are promoting their healthy development and their mental health. Get creative, have fun, stay safe, and enjoy a great summer!